Monday, August 18, 2014

August 2014 ICLW

Wow, I haven't participated in ICLW for almost a year!  Well, here I am.  And here you are!  Welcome!!

Speaking of, I just updated my "Welcome" tab so feel free to click up there and read that :)

My husband and I are approved to adopt and have been waiting for 1 1/4 years to be matched.

I like cats, chocolate, scrapbooking, the sound of rain, presents, wildflowers, cheese, and a great many other random things :)

Looking forward to hearing from you and visiting your blogs!

Friday, August 15, 2014

No Fruit on the Vines

If you ever have a chance to, read Habakkuk in the MacArthur Study Bible, ESV, along with the notes (it's only 3 chapters long, and totally worth it).

I found it very inspiring, how in the hard times when Habakkuk was questioning God about how [he perceived] God was ignoring the problem, Habakkuk ultimately ended up choosing to have confidence in God, to quietly wait for Him to act, and to rejoice in Him.

"Though the fig tree should not blossom,
nor fruit be on the vines,
the produce of the olive fail
and the fields yield no food,
the flock be cut off from the fold
and there be no herd in the stalls,
yet I will rejoice in the LORD;
I will take joy in the God of my salvation."
Habakkuk 3:17-18 

Thursday, August 14, 2014

Motherhood Month - 11

Progress:  It has been 1 1/4 years since we were approved to adopt.

How I'm feeling:  I've never been one for enjoying taking the time to figure out how I'm feeling.  I don't like turning introspective and trying to evaluate my feelings.  "How are you?" or "How was your day?" are some of my least favourite questions to be asked.  I have a hard time summing up an entire day as "good" or "bad" as I tend to see various events or emotions (each which rarely last long) as good, bad, mediocre, etc.  I am a very live-by-the-moment kind of person, with high highs and low lows.

As far as the adoption wait goes, my thoughts and emotions range from one end of the spectrum to the other in any given month as well.  This month, I would say my feelings about it have included, but have not been limited to: contentment that God knows what He's doing and peace that He will time everything out according to His perfect will; excitement that we could get 'The Call' any moment and become parents in a heartbeat; discouragement as I realize that everyone's getting older - my child(ren)'s grandparents, cousins, us, etc; and both doubting if we'll ever get matched and also hoping we don't get matched before we get to go on a vacation to celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary in Spring! (don't get me wrong; I'd take Baby first!)

Craving:  Nothing; I just finished a lunch of Baked Eggs Napoleon.  A little something sweet to finish off the meal would be nice, though.  Maybe I'll eat an apricot yet.  There's one on the counter getting too soft and needs to be eaten.

Thoughts about our future child:  I know I say this often, but most of the time I'm simply just curious!  Gender?  Nationality?  Personality?  Things that don't matter at all but that I'm just curious about, you know?

Thoughts about our child's expectant mom:  I guess "curious" is the go-to word here, too.  What will our relationship be like?

Most recent baby purchase/gift:  Nothing for us, but we did buy a couple really neat gifts for friends of ours who just adopted their first baby.  We haven't given the gifts to them yet, so I won't post pictures here, in case they happen to read this blog ;)

This month God:  I am thankful for His Holy Spirit who lives in me and is continually teaching me, reminding me, encouraging me, prompting me.   

Monday, July 14, 2014

Motherhood Month - 10

Progress:  It has been 1 year + 2 months since we were approved to adopt.

How I'm feeling:  In this moment, I'm okay.  So that's a good thing.

Craving:  Something a little sweet to finish off my meal.  I just had a Mexican Omelet.  Now I would like, hm, a Chocolate Strudel?

Thoughts about our child:  The other day I caught myself thinking, I wonder what my kid(s) will think of me?  And then I very quickly decided that was probably not a good route to go down, because it only matters what God thinks of me, and I can't live my life wondering what others think of me (so rarely they even are thinking about you at all, eh?!) 

Thoughts about our child's expectant mom:  Where are you at in life?  I'm sorry you are going to have to go through the difficult times coming up.

Most recent baby purchase/gift:  Nothing.  There's a lot we need yet that I wish we had, though.

This month God:  Has reminded me that He died for me, personally.  That believing in the historical Jesus, the Son of God, the one who loves everyone, and died on a cross to save the world from death - is not enough to save me.  But that believing that He died personally for me, that I deserved to die because I was a sinner - I couldn't meet God's requirements to be perfect - and He took my place instead because only He was perfect enough to be that final sacrifice - that is what saved me.  Praise God; without Him I am nothing.  

Wednesday, July 9, 2014

Just for Fun

I suppose it would be unethical if our adoption agency had signs out like this for human babies...

This sign for a local pet store caught my eye while driving.
...although potentially convenient.  Joking, of course!

Monday, June 16, 2014

Motherhood Month - 9

Progress:  1 year, 1 month, and 2 days

How I'm feeling:  Irritable, can't think clearly, down, anxious...I could go on.  But that's just hormones and will resolve itself yet.  Whenever my body decides to behave like normal.

Craving:  FOOD!!  I am hungry!  Lasagna would be nice.  (about those hormones...) 

Thoughts about our child:  Hoping you will exist and I'm not just dreaming this all up.

Thoughts about child's expectant mom:  Curious.  Always curious.

Most recent baby purchase/gift:  For Father's Day yesterday I gave my husband a onesie and matching shorts.  The onesie says "Daddy's Little Cupcake".  It's for a girl; even though we don't know if we will get a boy or a girl, I buy items for each, plus gender-neutral.  He loved it.

This month God:  Lately has felt far away.  I know that's just the hormones, though.  And feelings is not what this relationship is based upon anyway, thankfully!

Thursday, June 12, 2014

"I Understand"

Back in highschool I had a teacher that taught me a couple of things that I actually took to heart and carried with me into real life.

One of them was, when you ask someone how they are doing, listen to their answer.  Don't just say "hey, how's it going" as you rush on by.  I think it also important to give a genuine answer to those who ask sincerely.  Don't just say "fine".

The other thing was the skill of active listening.  Perhaps this resonated with me because as someone whose love language is quality time, it is important that people actually listen to me without distraction.  Since my personality is not one well known for good listening skills, I feel like learning how to listen actively was really helpful.  Eye contact, lean toward the person, respond to what they're saying, etc.

Another thing I have learned in life, this one from my mom-in-law, is that you never know what someone is going through, or has gone through.  You don't know their story.  You might think you know most of it, but you probably don't know all of it.  Keeping this in mind has helped me respond to people more gently than I might feel like reacting.  This life lesson also has a flip side.  Don't assume that people cannot relate to what you are going through.  If you are the kind of person who keeps things buried inside, try sharing and you might find someone who has gone through the same thing.

I don't know who taught me this life lesson, but another thing is to never say the words "I understand" unless you truly feel like you get it.  There are many other comforting and encouraging words to choose from, such as "I'm sorry", "That must be tough", and "I'm praying for you" (if you actually are), if you feel like you cannot understand the person's feelings or situation.  I personally will never say "I understand" if I do not feel like I actually do.  Since I haven't yet had anybody closer to me than my Grandpa pass away, I won't say "I know how hard this is for you" when your loved one passes away.  However, if you are going through stress, panic attacks, depression, anxiety, etc, I will say "I understand" because I personally know that world much too well.  I think there is great comfort in someone understanding where you are at, especially if they have been able to come out the other side.  Even if your situations aren't identical, they may be able to understand what you are going through well enough for you to be able to trust their "I understand".